This was an entry I wrote in a curse-stricken blog. I thought it's an important reminder for a very special person. (I forgot to mention in the blog before that some thoughts in this entry were taken from "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom). When I read this again, I realized...I preach when I'm angry.

Two weeks ago, as I laid carefully my philosophy before you, point by point, concept by concept, I observed that you were listening intently like a student listening to his master. You tried to catch up with me, but my words seems faster than your thoughts. Probably because I succesfully demystified things, all I said overwhelmed you; it came to a point that you become numb for an hour or so after you have learned I had a talk with somebody that you least expected. But thats over now. You still have me.

Luckily and unluckily for me, I care about you so much. This is the way I am. When somebody needs me, I give a hand even if I know I shouldnt anymore. I wish, and I hope, that I could change. Try as I might, however, I know I wont. If given the opportunity to turn back time, I know I would repeat the same mistake, over and over again.

I hope you have learned a great deal with me. I am sorry I had to be harsh on you because I really dont think you could see the big picture. You have to understand that people should be firm on you. You are leading a good life, you know that. Stop cocooning. Dont waste your time feeling sorry for what happened to you in the past and for what people did to you. Dont rush, either. Make goals that are achievable and have a time element. If you fail along the way life doesnt stop right there. Always remember, there are second, third, fourth chances. This is what people are forgetting. And Im here for you. Right now, you are starting to be aware of your capabilities and that is a good start. Dont ever think na that your every success is for me. Thats bullsh*t.

Why do you think so many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep even when theyre busy doing things they think are important. This is because theyre chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

When things turn you down, learn to detach. Dont cling to things because everything is impermanent. Detachment doesnt mean you dont let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, let it penetrate you fully but dont ever dwell on it for too long. Thats how you are able to leave it. After that, do what needs to be done.

Everything I just said, alam mo naman na yan e. You may wonder why I created this entry Well, kasi yung mga sinabi ko sa yo noon baka maging hangin lang na dumaan. Leche.

Random Thoughts

Been reading a good book entitled "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck. It has been a long time since I've heard how phenomenal the book is from a lecturer. I just thought there would come a time when I would really need to have something at hand for self-improvement and I must say, the time has come!!
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Why is it hard to open friendster in this comp today?
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Strangely as it may sound, my love life is going well. Now I wonder what would the drawback be for that. Or maybe this time, there are no drawbacks! I can't wait to see you again. Boy, it's almost a month since we've seen each other.
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I believe it's going to be a great day today.
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Only one person is worth mentioning here. Thank you, my dear, for this blog's template.
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At this very moment, my nephew is in my room playing with my make-up. Keyword is nephew. Haha!
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Something is really wrong with friendster. Maybe I'll just check it some other time.
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Board exams na bukas!!! Waaah!!! Once I have the results, it would be very hard to repair a lot of things but I know I can overcome it. I should have known that being a neurotic would also serve me well.

We search for identity and we have what-to-do-in-life questions after a personal crisis. We have broken relationships. We have dreams and plans in life but we are victims of our indecision. We have holes in hearts that have to be filled by faith. We have brothers whom we think are burdens, whom we love to hate, but in reality, we care about deeply. We are arrogant which makes our lives more difficult as we hate to listen to others and we always try to handle things using our own limited abilities. In the end, we both realize that “power, if wrongly used, defeats the oppressor, as well as the oppressed”. We recognize the fact that we need to face our failures and that we need to humble ourselves, time and again. We learn that in order to have direction in the future, we need to renovate something from our past. Renovate your life, and the universe is yours.

Let me tell you a secret. Promise you wont think ill of me. Promise me youll try to understand. Promise me youll respect me in the morning.
Ok, here goes. I read horoscopes everyday! Eek! I can almost hear the collective grunt of despair! Have I not spent a fair amount of my time on this entry talking about reality with a capital "R"? Have I not, again and again, admonished my friends to believe that what happens to us is dictated by our own choices and not by destiny?
Well, yes. Reading horoscopes certainly does not negate that advice nor cancel out that belief. I would like to think, and I guess you could call this belief denial as well, that reading horoscopes allows me to jumpstart my day with a sometimes-nonsensical preview. After all, part of the appeal of horoscopes is the element of wonder.
So for those who are born under the sign of Leo like me, here is a forecast for the week ahead: